Chatper 2: Disagreement and returning to the winter mansion
The door closed. Iri and I walked towards the stairs, heading to my room, while my highbeast was being filled once again. I had wanted to scream so many things during that conversation. It had been absolutely maddening to hold back my rambling every time I had gotten too close to anything that could have gotten us all purged.
“…it stands to reason that it might have some unforeseen effect.” His nonchalant delivery made me want to punch something at the very memory of it.
He had been nodding along without care until I had talked about scaling up the efforts on all children in the duchy, then it had become so obvious how he had wanted to nudge the discussion.
Rozemyne probably thinks I am a lunatic. I smiled wryly.
As I was going over the argument in my head, I recalled her confused expression. She didn’t know about Ferdinand’s divine protections ritual, nor the circle in the bible. To her, Ferdinand’s “absentminded musings” and “guesses” must have looked normal. All the while, I had been rambling about unconfirmed repercussions of a development that may never come, since the only evidence was Henrietta’s one protection.
Naturally, it was for the best. I’d rather be seen as an unreasonable brat than “prove my point” and get Estelle killed. She had been so shaken from fear of execution that I could never do such a thing.
It’s just so… My teeth clenched. “You are born with your colors,” it should have been so obvious back then. When I had asked whether it was possible to gain more colors, he hadn’t said a simple “no.” My question didn’t require such an answer. After my divine protections ritual, when I had been flooded with colors, my mind hadn’t even made the connection that his previous answer had been a complete lie by misdirection. Right to my face.
Only when he had mentioned colors in today’s conversation, suddenly, everything clicked. From that moment on, all his subsequent deflections had been so obvious.
The worst part had been when I had realized that he hadn’t reacted while I had been talking about Adeus getting a lot of protections. He only spoke up once I had included all the children in the duchy into my plan. The moment I revealed I could make it a duchy-wide problem, he felt a need to intervene. After all, I had already managed to help the first-years succeed in their practical exams. It must have caused him to take such declarations more seriously.
The fact that he actually considered it a problem significant enough for him to speak up, despite his secrecy, made me realize the finality of the issue. All his “postulating” about “possibilities” had made me feel so hopeless.
It’s my own fault. Since I had read that Rozemyne, Charlotte and Wilfried got their schtappes in their first year, I hadn’t even thought about the possibility of any drawbacks. I had been paranoid about the divine protections ritual because I hadn’t read about it, but the schtappe acquisition? If there had been anything wrong, Ferdinand would have warned them, right?
Dammit!!!
“Lady Mila, are you alright?” Iri asked with a worried voice, stopping for a moment.
“I am fine,” I produced a fake smile. “It seems like the weather is getting worse. Delay the delivery of the lenses to the craftsmen until after the Lord of Winter gets defeated.”
Her face made it quite clear how obvious my deflection looked, but she nodded in support nonetheless.
Should I transfer her to Rozemyne’s service? It stung to even think about it, but I was kind of a toxic substance. Dangerous to those working under me. Talking back to higher status worked only until one got executed for impudence. And naturally, my retainers would be among those on the chopping block. It was probably for the best to sign paperwork on both Tia and Iri, and give them security under Rozemyne.
Eckhart departed from the High Bishop’s chambers as well, giving me an adverse glare. I tried to keep a neutral facade to not antagonize him any further, and moved once again towards the stairs.
A couple of seconds later, something struck my leg, and I got punched in my back. My whole body flipped, with my jaw hitting the floor before I managed to do anything. As I was lying on the ground, the pain began setting in. I realized that someone was holding my arm in a weird angle, while their knee pushed against my back.
“You spoiled brat!” Eckhart whispered. “You should be thanking Lord Ferdinand for sparing your life on multiple occasions. To even compare him to that woman! Apologize!”
“I apologize,” I uttered.
My tongue stung. I must have bitten myself during the fall. At this point, I actually felt physically sick from frustration. In my mind, I was visualizing my knife appearing on top of my back and then extending upwards, impaling the knight on top of me. I wanted to do it so much, to release the rampage, but obviously, it remained in my imagination. Trying to fight back against an archknight who had me pinned down would have been quite a stupid thing to do, even if I hadn’t been tired from the Dedication Ritual and redyeing my highbeast.
I kept my head down, until some faraway thunder took Eckhart’s attention.
For a moment, his knee pushed stronger against my back, and I felt as if my shoulder was about to dislocate. Then he just stood up and left. “Useless!” His silent voice sounded from the other side of the corridor.
“Careful,” Iri uttered, while helping me to get up on my feet.
“Thank you.” I smiled weakly, once I was standing.
There was a bit of blood under me. I didn’t feel like using a schtappe at the moment, so I just poured water from my handkerchief until the floor was clean.
“Iri, what would you say if I asked Lady Rozemyne to take over as your lady? It should shield you if I displeased some other noble.” I suppressed my shaking and smiled properly.
“Lady Mila, I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
That doesn’t really answer my question or… She was giving me the same supportive smile as when I had tried to deflect her question about my well-being. I guess that’s “no.”
“Very well.” I nodded.
I wanted her to be safe, but I also didn’t want to dismiss her against her wishes. The gray robes didn’t have much freedom in matters of their employment; a transfer without approval would have been disrespectful. Still, it wouldn’t hurt to have that paperwork ready, just in case.
My jaw hurts so much, I whined after reaching my room. I had taken a rejuvenation potion, but this one was tailored for mana replenishment, so the healing was quite slow. I chose this version as I had wanted my mana back as soon as possible; to finish redying my highbeast and be able to leave the temple.
Because of the annoying pain, I decided to go on a walk rather than treading circles in my room.
Ehrenfest is so lucky, I grumbled.
I was this close to setting everything on fire, but that would have kind of hindered Charlotte’s job as the future archduchess. She couldn’t exactly rule over smoldering ruins. Not to mention, there were quite a few people who would have been inconvenienced by my actions.
As I continued wandering about, I eventually ended up in the temple’s book room.
Right, I wanted to check the statue. It felt like ages ago with everything that happened today.
My mana recuperated enough already, so I spread it in a thin layer to check the statue. To my amazement, there was a barrier behind this one as well.
Does this also lead to the white tree? In my mind, I had this cool visualization of the tree’s roots spreading around the country, reaching each temple’s book room. It would have been neat if I could just travel to the Academy this way.
Wait! My mana reached a spot in the bible held by the statue. Did I overlook a keyhole in the library’s statue as well? It felt weird that I hadn’t noticed such a thing. The actual keyhole in the “stone bible” made me picture the keyhole in the regular bible. Is it really that simple? I grimaced.
With that realization, I left the statue alone. Nothing much could be done.
I had promised Estelle that I would avoid this whole path; that I would not risk a purge. The barrier behind the statue pretty much confirmed some kind of a connection to the statue in the library, which in turn was connected to the Grutrissheit.
There was just no way to get the bible key without exposing myself. The key was either with Rozemyne, when she was reading the bible; or with Fran, when she was away. And just asking for the key to test “something” in a different location was the kind of odd behavior that would have been a hundred percent relayed to Ferdinand.
After the highbeast got dyed again, I returned to my room to say my goodbyes to Iri and departed for our winter mansion.
The weather outside was miserable, but the travel took only a few seconds, so I endured. Upon landing right at the door, I hurried inside, avoiding most of the snow.
“Lady Mila, welcome back.”
I happened to come across Filona and her attendant in the hall. It was kind of an unusual occurrence, despite us living in the same mansion. I almost used the longer greeting invoking Dregarnuhr, which would have probably sounded way too formal for people living under the same roof.
“I was hoping to catch up with you before your return to the Academy,” she remarked casually.
“Oh, what would you like to discuss?” I smiled, keeping a polite facade.
“I was wondering whether Lady Meredith would like to spend more time in the winter mansion this coming spring. To shield her children from the demands of her friends,” Filona proposed with a nonchalant voice.
She made that sound almost like some sort of aid on her part, rather than isolating my mother from our province. Frankly, it confused me. Why was she telling me that instead of just pushing for it?
I guess she wants my opinion? That realization surprised me even more.
Sure, I had been the one who had advocated for her current position, but I had kind of expected to be ignored the moment she would have felt secure enough in her position. Adults from our faction asking for my opinion was kind of a rare occurrence.
“Were there any demands?” I raised my eyebrow.
Since Estelle’s fine was being paid from our “alternative” fund, I had a hard time believing any demands had been made. Sure, Mother had borrowed small amounts of money from her friends for appearances’ sake, but it was like one small gold combined, split among multiple families.
“Not yet, but one can only expect something in return for three large golds.” Filona’s expression became more serious. “I have already informed her that Joisontak is in no position to cover for her expensive mistakes. If Lady Meredith expected to be bailed out by our family, she thought wrong. At this point, I can’t see a positive return on her investment in Lady Estelle. Some arrangements could be made with more affluent suitors to recuperate part of the loss, but it would still not be enough.”
Why does that word “suitors” sound so much like “buyers?” I suppressed the urge to frown and produced an absentminded smile. “I can’t exactly imagine Estelle complying with such an arrangement.”
“Comply?” Filona remarked dumbfounded, as if disagreement in such a matter was a completely foreign concept.
“Well, I witnessed her knocking out an archknight from Dunkelfelger with one hit. I can’t imagine there being many suitors in our social circles willing to match her potential,” I shrugged.
My delivery worked quite well—both women stared at me with wide eyes.
“Yeah, I guess it is for the best to avoid this topic in her presence,” I faked an uncomfortable grimace, trying to look just as unsettled as them.
Filona’s expression tensed.
She definitely mentioned this in Estelle’s presence. I bit my tongue, suppressing an urge to smirk.
With that little scare tactic deployed, I moved to the main issue. “Lady Filona, you do not have to worry about my mother. In the Academy, we students are engaged in transcription work for Lady Rozemyne. Between Adeus and me, and naturally, Estelle will contribute as well, we should raise one large gold just from that endeavor alone.”
“Large gold?” Filona blinked in a newfound shock. “Is Lady Rozemyne really that generous?”
“To be honest, it is skewed by me. As the one helping with the organization, I delegated available work to dozens of nobles from different duchies and extracted my fee for the arrangement,” I added with a nonchalant voice.
With all the posturing, I felt like a peacock. Though, it worked. Filona kept staring at me, dumbfounded, like that one time when I had talked about my involvement in the tax forms and the printing industry.
“I want to use these resources for the sake of my mother and lessen her burden,” I smiled.
“I see you value her highly.” Filona’s smile tensed even more. She must have expected me to care less as an adopted child. “Excuse me, some other arrangements require my attention as well.”
“Of course,” I nodded and let them on their way.
Hopefully, I had managed to use my influence well. And hey, I have influence now. It felt a bit silly that Giebe Joisontak was running her plans by me. Two years ago, I would have had a hard time believing that.
Though, I didn’t have time to ruminate. My next steps led to Erenit’s room, where I snatched my sister and brought her all the way to my hidden room.
“Did something happen?” Erenit asked worriedly.
“Henrietta managed to gain eleven protections in her divine protections ritual,” I divulged with a conspiratorial smile.
“Wow, that’s awesome!” Her worried look immediately flipped into genuine excitement.
“The gods, whom she previously invoked in her prayers and blessings, granted their protections. She even gained a new color because of it. If you take your own offerings seriously, you will no doubt gain many as well,” I added knowingly.
Erenit clenched both of her fists with a determined look. “I will try just as hard as her,” she declared, giving me an eager smile.
Seeing the excited expression on her face made my eyes teary. Thank you for being here.
Every time I thought about this topic, frustration filled my heart. For myself, for Adeus, for my classmates, for all the students getting unknowingly restrained every year without any recourse. Maybe I was being overly dramatic, as no one really prayed. Most people would probably obtain only a few protections, even if they knew. But it didn’t change a thing about my frustration on their behalf.
Before today, I had had this silly vision in my head of us first-years repeating our schtappe fundamentals training regimen. We would have all been competing to gain those 79 protections. Marianne would have tried really hard to keep her archnoble pride intact. Judithe would have been excited to practice her fighting style after gaining new protections. Danrick would have gotten nervous if Merina had progressed too far ahead of him, and…
And, well…
It was embarrassing to admit it, but I had been looking forward to being the one ahead of everyone. Acting completely nonchalant about the whole competition, as if it didn’t really matter to me that my number was rising the fastest, goading them to catch up with me. It was supposed to be fun bickering for the rest of our Academy time.
But what is there to compete for? I wanted to sigh. “Try really hard, pray and offer your mana, but after a while, just stop your effort. Don’t overdo it! Like twenty, thirty protections at max, and maybe ease up on your compression as well.” That felt so demotivating.
The frustration had been eating at me, until now. Erenit’s excited face made it all palatable. She had still time to gain as many protections as possible before her schtappe acquisition.
“For now, it’s still a big secret,” I continued with a serious voice. “Henrietta doesn’t want anyone to know, to avoid unwanted attention from other nobles. Can I rely on you?”
“I won’t tell.” Erenit put her hand on her chest.
She really looked resolved.
“Good.” I smiled. “You can spread in the playroom that one student managed to receive Angriff’s protection after previously offering mana and casting Angriff’s blessings, gaining the Fire element as a result.” I paused for a moment in thought. “And also that others in the Academy believe that offering mana to other gods might have the same influence.” That should be enough enticement. “Naturally, act as if this is a mere prediction, not a fact. Though, you can add that many students are already preparing for next year’s divine protections ritual by praying.”
The nobles lived on trends. Making it seem like the students in the Academy had already begun should influence the children in the playroom, even if we lacked any solid proof yet.
Erenit was bobbing her head to my instructions. She herself seemed enthusiastic, though I was still worried about the social stigma.
“Hopefully, the other kids won’t be too biased against prayers,” I mused out loud.
It had taken quite a lot of groundwork to get all my participants for the healing ritual in the gathering spot. And that had been after several different events and coordination with Cornelius to get everyone on board. In the end, the majority was still just watching from the sidelines.
“They aren’t biased,” my sister protested. “The others wanted me to teach them more prayers. Lord Sanian even said that my healing prayer is amazing, and everyone nodded to that.”
I mean, when one is hurt, any healing is amazing. I wanted to smirk.
Still, by the sound of it, the kids in the playroom were pretty eager to try such prayers despite the reputation of the temple and warnings from their parents. Then it suddenly clicked for me as I recalled my own motivation in the past: they didn’t have their own schtappes yet. So, if they wanted to do magic, praying was the only option.
Hmm, we can lean on that angle. Cool magic was always a good motivator.
“I will start making charms at the Academy, so you don’t have to worry about missing any gods. I mean, I want more protections myself.” I smirked at Erenit.
Those weren’t just empty words on my part. I will show everyone proper mana control, regardless of some pesky schtappe problems, I grumbled on the inside. I really wanted to give everyone a middle finger by getting all 79 protections and still be able to retain control. Just you wait!
“Can I then lend them to my friends?” Erenit wondered.
“Of course.” I smiled, my bubbling anger receded once again. Maybe you guys can be the ones competing for all the protections.
“You are the best!” Erenit exclaimed.
I ruffled her hair like a cool older sibling… and then I had to redo her hairstyle because the day wasn’t over yet. Well, not a bad problem to have. Erenit was enjoying our repeat of my attendant practice.
After Erenit returned to her room, I spent some time preparing and packing a few ingredients that I had been missing at the Academy. Before evening came, I was also visited by Mother.
“I have already spoken with Estelle.” She smiled knowingly.
“Yes, the Dedication Ritual was quite eventful this year.” I smiled as well.
And let’s not stress about any small arguments that came after.
“Apologies for the lack of warning, I was told to keep it secret,” Mother divulged.
“No worries, I can only imagine,” I shrugged it off. “So I guess this winter was much more eventful in terms of socializing than I previously thought.”
“Yes, it was challenging. Especially the information sharing with Lady Elvira,” Mother sighed.
“Oh?”
“As you can imagine, she had a hard time believing the cover story behind Estelle.”
“Figures.” I pressed my lips in a grimace.
Well, it wasn’t the first time she had to deal with a ludicrous backstory involving Joisontak.
“As such, you should be aware that I informed her about Estelle’s arrival from Ahrensbach. The alternative was her making contact with Frenbeltag’s temple through the nobles in her faction.”
“Yeah, I guess it’s for the best.” I shrugged.
One thing I had learned: truth was usually more benign than whatever imaginary scheme sprouted in the mind of a paranoid person. To be honest, I had already kind of expected Elvira to know through Sylvester and Karstedt. Maybe she had just wanted to confirm her own findings.
I mean, why threaten to contact the temple when she can just do that without us knowing, right?
“I am glad.” Mother nodded.
She had more experience when it came to information sharing, but naturally, there was always the risk of me throwing her some curveball. It wouldn’t have been the first time that my unique perspective showed her decision in a new light. But this time, I had none.
Elvira wanted to protect Rozemyne; it was that simple. And knowing there was no hidden parent or guardian pulling Estelle’s strings should be sufficient to ease her worries. As such, I had no problem with Mother’s approach.
“What did Estelle say?” I wondered.
After all, it was her privacy being affected.
“She said that I have her trust in matters of socializing,” Mother recalled.
“As well as mine,” I nodded along while wishing to possess at least half of her social finesse.
I bet no one slammed your head against the floor for insulting someone important.
My declaration made her giggle.
“I have also read the letter from Caroline.” She once again gave me a knowing smile.
I tensed, trying to recall all the things I had done in the Academy.
“You are doing great. I am proud of your achievements,” Mother remarked warmly.
Wow, did she get the report for the right kid?
“I am grateful.” I smiled awkwardly.